Sunday, April 29, 2012

My 5 Gifts

I am not exactly a talented person. Unless you considered brushing teeth in record time a talent, I have nothing much to boast about. But every now and then I have marvelled at a few things that I think I am very good at. It might not be worth much but I thought I should share the secret of their perfect execution. It might help a few people feel good about themselves.
1. The shampoo mohawk : This is a guys' special. The trick is to have just the right amount of water and shampoo in your hair followed by a swift motion of cupped palms to form that perfect mohawk. I discovered quite early in life that I was gifted at this and I have perfected the art over 2 decades . My hair is thinning but my spirit stays thick. As long as there is even a single strand of hair on my head , the shampoo mohawk shall continue to be formed - shower after shower.
2. The slurp: How do you tell someone that you really like the food that has been served ? Well, there are various ways to do this , ranging from the very boring "I like it" to the really confusing, and utterly embarrassing , " mmmm... Yes... OMG!" but there's nothing as good as the impeccable SLURP . Zero words, zero embarrassment , one hundred percent efficient communication. It's rather difficult to teach this on the blog , but it should suffice to know that it involves an intricate twist of the tongue and a rapid suction of air into the mouth. And yes, hours of practice to get that touch of perfection.
3. Singing a song , in my head : I swear I am out of the world when it comes to this . It's a pity no one can hear me. You name a song, any song, and I'll croon like a canary ,complete with chorus and all the instruments ( including the bass ). Just that it'll all be in my head and I wouldn't be able to delight you with it. Now all we need is some science genius to find a way to project this to the world outside. For the world's benefit of course.
4. The tongue roll : People make it to the Guinness for doing stupid things to themselves like popping their eyeballs out and swallowing metal objects. I too have a talent in this category and it's definitely not as ridiculous. I can roll my tongue from both sides into a perfect cylinder. It's not an eyesore and is completely safe for kids to try at home. I can't comment on the usefulness of this act though but then I never said I was going to talk about useful stuff, did I ?
5. The scooter toot orchestra : Dad gifted me a scooter when I turned 16 and I discovered that there was more to the 2 wheeler than just driving it around. I realised I could toot in a delightful melody. If there were a toot genre of music, I would be a Tootstar. I have moved to driving a car since, but my sense of toot music has stayed with me. Sometimes, when I am in a good mood, I play the toot music with my car's horn. It's not as mesmerising as the toot, but it gets me all the attention from the bewildered traffic around. Chuckle.
Suddenly , I feel very buoyant, very confident. May be I should write books on each of my Fab Five , may be they will go on to become best sellers , may be I'll win a booker's (for each one of them ) .I think, I have a 6th talent too. Let's call it hopeless optimism ( I know that doesn't make any sense).

Image source: google images

8 comments:

  1. Hah! Loved it!
    Croon like a canary indeed :)

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    1. Thanks Zeetal ! How goes the preparation ?

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  2. Very inspirational article! Got me thinking about all my talents!! :D
    Really like your style of writing!
    Looking forward to more hilarious stuff from you :)

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  3. Very inspirational article Saad!! Inspired me to think about all my talents!!! :D
    Really like your style of writing!
    Looking forward to more hilarious stuff from you :)

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  4. Hehe thanks Bhavana ! More stuff is on its way !

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  5. The one thing I like about your posts is the fact that you promise comedy, you give comedy and comedy it is. Keep it up effortlessly and do share. Wit does ease the seriousness of life.

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    1. Hey thanks! I keep saying, life is best enjoyed funny side up:D

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