Sunday, October 2, 2011

A letter to Dev Saab

Dear  Dev  Saab,

Chargesheet- The Movie
It’s past midnight but I thought I must write to you before I accept and make peace with myself about what happened today. I saw the trailers of your just released movie – Chargesheet over the last 2 days and couldn’t stop myself from rushing to the multiplex today to delight myself. The trailers indicated that the movie was a rib tickler and I was clearly in need of some good humor after a long week at work.

So my friend AJ- who was as excited as I was to watch it - and I left early from office today, jumped a few signals as we maneuvered the car through heavy traffic and reached the multiplex a full one hour before the show.  After all, we had to ensure that we got the tickets. However, we had no clue about the impending misfortune that lay ahead.

We reached the box office elated and unable to control our emotions.

Do ticket dena bhai Chargesheet ke! , we asked the ticket guy

The ticket guy appeared to be taken aback by our demand. His face wore the familiar – Have You - F*** -Lost-Your-Mind – expression and he consulted a few of his colleagues before telling us that the tickets weren’t available.

Bik gaye??!?!???

No sir, koi dekhne nahi aaya, isliye show nahi chal raha hai..

We couldn’t believe our ears! I mean, COME ON!

Kitne log hone chahiye show ke liye? I enquired

At least 5-6 ,  aap dono pehle hain, replied the evil ticket guy

So you better start with us young man! , AJ jumped in unable to take it anymore

Sorry sir, nahi ho sakta!

Dev Saab, let me tell you that the world sort of lost its meaning for us at that point of time. Standing in front of the ticket office, we looked around helplessly for some miracle to happen. But it was just not meant to be.

I made a mental note of lodging a complaint with the cinema manager. (And I did that later)

Anyway, so as I mentioned, I had had a very busy week and some entertainment was definitely required so we decided to watch Johny English. I must make a point here that Johny English was a distant second option for us. We were aware that it wasn’t going to be half as funny as Chargesheet .

Theek hai, Johnny English ke ticket de do, AJ asked the evil ticket guy

The evil ticket guy looked at us with what I can now recall as a mix of disgust and petulance - Sir, English mein hai ye picture

Dev Saab, I don’t understand this. Just because we asked for tickets to your movie, the ass thought we couldn’t be an audience for an English movie??!!  He surely had no idea of the international standards of your movies and I think he didn’t even have a taste for art.

We decided to play the bigger men and ignored his churlishness.

I know..give us two tickets for the show, AJ switched to English to make a point

Unfortunately, there weren’t any good seats available for the movie and we being men of great tastes decided to watch the next best option, a movie called FORCE.

I don’t know Dev Saab if you have heard about this movie.  It stars John Abraham who reminds me of Johny Bravo from Cartoon Network. I am putting up their pictures here to explain my observation:

Johny Bravo (left) and John Abraham (right)

The movie also stars Genelia D’souza . Between the two of them, these actors share a total of 4 expressions- 1. Eyebrows up  2. Eyebrows down  3. Happy face and  4. Sad face. It is amazing how they have managed to pull themselves through the 2.5 hr movie using just these 4 expressions. If you have time , please do watch.

Anyway, so let me tell you a bit about the movie. I would say the movie was funnier than I had expected and the plot was rather gripping. John is a cop who keeps beating up drug peddlers and falls in love with Genelia . The two share some great on-screen chemistry with their 'Eyebrows up' and 'Happy face' expressions until a drug lord comes into the picture and randomly kills everyone including Genelia. In the end, John pounds the drug lord to death.

It was only after the movie was over that I realized the implication of the name- ‘FORCE’. Actually, it was to subliminally tell the viewers that they had to sit through the entire movie by choice or by force because when I tried to leave the theatre in the middle of the movie to take an important call, I realized that the staff had locked us inside.

So that was what the movie was all about. Dev  Saab, I am sure Chargesheet would be even better. I will look for the tickets again today and will not rest till I have watched it. In the meantime I will try to satiate myself with a launch video of Chargesheet that I found on the internet.  I love the way you turn to Divya Dutta and say – “Jackie I love you!” I am sure you got confused because Divya Dutta is perhaps as well built as Jackie Shroff.

For all those reading this, please forward the clip to around the 1 min and 50 sec mark to catch this part


  1. Hilarious dude, did not realize that you have a blog too. very well written, but did you finally manage to see Chargesheet?

  2. Hahah! Poor Divya Dutta getting caught in your meanness. And poor Naseer!..the things we have to do for friends.
    I have awaited the release of Chargesheet with the same excitement that I continue to await the release of Himesh's international album "@ Da Edge." When I will have the opportunity to experience both these fine works, I don't know :(

  3. @Doc: Thanks for the appreciation! No dude, they turned me down the second day as well... and then the movie was taken off the screen. Waiting for the home video now :D

    @Zeetal: What rrrr u saying .. didnt know about Himes bhai's international album. Must pre-order!


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